How to create your own personal retreat
/While on one hand, the thought of going on a retreat sounds AMAZING, it can also cause shrieks of horror. There isn’t time, there’s too much to do and so many people depend on you that you couldn’t possibly. And that’s exactly why going on a retreat often gets put in the too-hard basket.
But what if it’s just what you need to amplify the quality of your life and the impact of your work?
It’d be worth taking a closer look at what would be involved and learning more about how to create your own personal retreat, right?
What a personal retreat is
A retreat is an opportunity to step away from daily life. To step out of your everyday roles, responsibilities and routines, and check in with yourself (something you probably don’t do or at least don’t do often).
In life and through your work, you give a lot to others and while that’s important to you and something you’re passionate about, you also know you need to take care of yourself.
And right about now, you might be noticing the tell-tale signs of resistance starting to show up. Because thinking about yourself and going on retreat can sound selfish and self-indulgent (and I get it, I’ve thought that too).
You, like me, have probably been conditioned to think that to serve and help others, you need to put yourself last. But that’s not true.
To show up well in life and business, and to make the impact you want to make, you need to be the best version of yourself and that means you need to think about yourself.
Retreats provide an opportunity to reflect, reset and replenish and that’s invaluable when it comes to creating a life that feels fulfilling and being impactful through your work.
- life coach Tracey Hancock
[To be clear, in this context a “personal retreat” is something done on your own. It’s not about a group of friends going away or attending an organised retreat. it’s also not a work retreat where the focus is on a project like writing a book or creating content.]
Why personal retreats are important
Thanks to technology, we’re more connected than ever before but there are worrying signs of the toll self-disconnection is taking.
The mental, emotional and physical impact of being constantly “on”, the sheer amount of disruption and change, and the high levels of persistent self-doubt and second-guessing, mean we’re not only limiting the impact we make, but stress-related illnesses and burnout are becoming more common too.
A personal retreat provides an opportunity to distance yourself from the day-to-day busyness and demands, and to create space for deeper connection and thinking. And it’s through this experience that you can realign with who you are, what you value, and the vision you have for your life and work.
Who personal retreats are for
Anyone and everyone but especially people like you.
Out of a desire to use your skills, experience and passion to make a difference in the lives of others, you can take on a lot and push yourself hard to meet the high standards you set for yourself. That takes a toll and it’s on top of the inevitable pressure and stress created by self-doubt and second-guessing.
Without this time away, life can pass by in a blur of busyness and demands. Because you’re deep in the day-to-day grind, perspectives can become distorted, challenges overstated and opportunities missed. And it’s easy to get stuck in a paradigm that may no longer serve you or your mission well.
None of which will help you live and work well!
When to go on a personal retreat
There’s a lot said about using a retreat to help you get back on track when you’re stretched and stressed, and while that’s true, they are useful for that, including retreats at regular intervals throughout the year is where you’ll gain the greatest benefits.
In line with the life planning approach I use and teach to my coaching clients, I recommend scheduling retreats every 90 days (or at least 6-monthly). The timing lines up nicely with quarterly planning and ensures you have regular opportunities to replenish your mind, body, and soul.
7-steps to plan your own personal retreat
When it comes to creating your own personal retreat, you could opt for an off-the-shelf, one-size-fits-all approach but that’s likely to leave you feeling short-changed. You’re the best person to design your retreat and it’s not as hard as you might think.
Use these 7-steps to create your own personal retreat.
Step 1: Identify the purpose & your intention
Before jumping in and scheduling your retreat, get clear about the purpose and your intention.
What do you want from this time away? And how do you want to feel?
Is it to nourish and replenish yourself?
Is it to reflect and reset your life and business plan?
Is it to explore a particular challenge or opportunity?
Once you know the purpose and intention, it’s like planning a party with a theme, use them to guide the decisions and choices you make in steps 2-7.
Step 2: Set your budget
Concerns about cost can hold people back from going on a retreat. This is your retreat and you're creating it, so decide on a budget you're comfortable with. How much do you want to spend?
Step 3: Decide how long
The length of your retreat will largely depend on your current situation and how much time you can realistically allow. Whether it’s half a day, a full day, 3 days/2 nights, or a week, choose a timeframe that’s right for you. You might start with a half day and over time, expand that out to 3 days. Or perhaps you’ll go straight to a week. The key here is to start with something.
Pro tip: based on how long you decide, think about what needs to be done - everything from letting clients know, making plans with/for your family and pets, setting up an out-of-office message, and agreeing on who can contact you and why.
Step 4: Choose where to go
We’re all naturally drawn to particular places and spaces, so be guided by that. The one thing I would say is to avoid being in busy, bustling environments because the whole idea of the retreat is to have time and space to nourish yourself.
Locations near or at a beach, lake, river, or bush are useful as you’ll have somewhere to walk and they are naturally restorative.
Also, consider how far you want to drive or if you’d prefer to fly or take some other form of transport. I prefer a 90-minute drive, although I will travel up to 3 hours from my home here in Te Awamutu (Aotearoa, New Zealand).
Some of my favourite places are Raglan, Taupo, Mt Maunganui and Waihi beach, and I typically book an apartment or house through Airbnb.
Step 5: Decide what you’ll do
If you’re a planner, it might be tempting to create a detailed plan (I feel you, that used to be me). But a more useful approach is to simply create a framework, a high-level overview, that includes the purpose, your intention, and what you’d like to do.
And if you like to be constantly on the go and to get through a heap of tasks, give yourself permission to include space to be in the moment and to rest.
Here’s an example of a personal retreat.
Purpose: The purpose of this 3 day/2 night personal retreat is to rest well and think about the next 90-days.
Intention: To feel grounded
What I’d like to do:
Wake up naturally (no alarm)
Eat well and walk each day
Have a massage
Review and reflect on the last quarter
Reset for the next quarter
Step 6: Pack what you want and need
My golden rule is to take whatever you want to take to feel nurtured and supported.
For me that includes delicious food (it’s the first thing I pack or organise!), my Live Well Life Planner, journal and a book or two, affirmation or oracle cards, bath salts & moisturisers, my own pillow, laptop & phone (and chargers!), and comfy clothes.
Step 7: Create a container or sacred space for your retreat
In the busyness of life, you might find yourself racing from one thing to the next without much thought. So before heading away, think about how you can, with intention, move into and out of being on retreat. It’s a beautiful practice for creating a container or sacred space for the experience.
Rituals you could use include prayer/karakia, meditation, lighting a candle, an affirmation, movement, song, or whatever feels right to you.
And please, at the end of the retreat, avoid saying you're going back to your real life because going on retreat is PART of your real life.
A personal retreat, rather than being a selfish, self-indulgent luxury, is a key element in supporting yourself to live well and to be impactful through your work. Rather than push them aside or squeeze them in when there’s time or when you’re at breaking point, go ahead and schedule regular personal retreats into your calendar because it’d be worth it, right?!
👉🏼 If you’d like some help creating your own personal retreat, contact me to find out how we can work together on this.